Part 11 - The Tree

 For the first obstacle course we came to, which is built for people half our height, we split into teams to reach the finish first. It was a maze, which, given that the last time I'd been here was only a couple of years ago, I remembered the route through. It's boundaries were constructed of thin blue rope which scratched you if your skin slid along it at all. James and I were disqualified, since we both remembered how to get through. We took opposite edges of the maze and scuttled back and forth, yelling help to the people within.

"Eliphia!" James called, "Left! Go left!"

"Dead end, Hanien," I warned.

 Annisa and Tom were the first to reach the end, quickly followed by Eliphia and Isaac. James gave Annisa a high-five and I saw her legs almost turn to jelly. I noticed abruptly that John Green was standing beside me.

"James told me about Paul," John mumbled.

"Oh," I whispered.

"I know you're all having fun and I think that's great but I do not think James should have brought you all. I can understand him bringing Michael and Benedict and, to an extent, myself. But you're all just kids. You shouldn't have to be part of this," John shook his head.

"He asked us if we wanted to come!" I countered.

"Oh, yeah, like anyone's going to say no to spending the day with their idol," John rolled his eyes.

"He doesn't see that. He doesn't understand how we feel about him. It's part of what makes him so great," I explained.

"Look, I get that. I have idols too. I have crushes. I don't, however, follow them into the traps of people who have kidnapped two innocent women!" John exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Me, Eliphia, Pearl and Lucía were all friends with the two women, Jan and Tara," I added.

"Oh, what site?" John asked.

"Facebook."

"Oh."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?!"

"Nothing. I have nothing against Facebook. I just think that Tumblr is way, way better," John giggled.

 I spotted James calling us back over and signalled to John that we should rejoin the group.

As we walked, I turned back to John. "Did James tell you about ... Paul's views?"

"Yes. He is clearly insane," John decided, "I mean, I can understand why he might be averse to certain ship fanfiction but ... to abhor the genre altogether? For some people it's the only way they like to write. You can't just stop whole fandoms from writing. And the idea that books are the property of their writers? Pah!"

"Books belong to their readers," I stated.

"Did you just quote me?" John grinned.

"You're an excellent person to quote!" I retorted. We rejoined the group and I could have sworn that John whispered 'DFTBA', the nerdfighter catchphrase, as he left.

 "Alright, then." James rubbed his hands together. He was standing at the far edge of the circle to John and I. "And the winners are ... Annisa and Tom! Well done, guys. Right, before we move on to the next play-park, Michael was suggesting we have some lunch."

 There came a chorus of 'yes' and 'definitely' and 'I'm starving!'. Michael pointed to a spot beside a tree a few metres away. We flocked towards it and formed a semi-circle around the stout trunk. Michael, Tom and Isaac were immediately locked into a 'Noughts and Crosses' battle. James leant right up against the tree and the rest of us sat facing him.

"Okay," James began, "One time only, ask me whatever you want and I will answer. Oh, except nothing about my wife or my son."

"What's your favourite song?"

"'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen."

"Who's the most annoying character you've ever played?"

"Tom LeFroy's a bit of an arse at times."

"Can you do any impressions?"

James smirked and then slipped into Patrick Stewart mode, "Engage."

"What are you going to do when you see Paul?"

 I'm still not sure who asked that question. Even later, nobody owned up to it.

James inhaled deeply, "I'm going to try to persuade him to stop this. I'm going to ask him to give back Jan and Tara. Actually, speaking of which, could everyone who has them as Facebook friends give them a message. If they get loads, maybe Paul will let them reply to one."

 Eliphia, Pearl, Lucía and I whipped out our phones and strolled around the bottom of the tree, trying to find some signal. Below us, Michael, Tom and Isaac looked up from their tournament and suggested we climb the tree. James and Michael stood at the foot of the tree and hoisted us one after the other onto the bottom two branches. We slithered around the branches and eventually we were all high up enough to gain two bars of signal each.

"What are we saying?" Eliphia called down to James.

"Just say something hopeful about maybe getting to meet them today," James replied with a shrug.

 I opened the JMFC and typed in a message: Hey there Jan, Tara! We're all really excited that we might finally meet you in the flesh today!

 Once I'd finished, I closed the window on my phone and glanced around below me. I think Tom was winning because he kept doing little 'happy dances' every few minutes, with John Green teaching him new techniques for this. Michael, John and James kept smiling at each other and then at all of us, as if they were proud of us. James had slipped his heavy jacket back on, thrust his hands in his pockets and was now jogging around the tree to keep warm.

 Shattering the feeling of calm that had been cultivated, their came a shriek from the branch below me. It seemed that Lucìa had been trying to reach forward for better signal but had leant to far. Whatever had happened, she was now hanging by one hand from my own branch. I scuttled forward and grabbed her hand, pressing it into the branch.

"Give me the other one!" I yelled.

 Lucía wiggled her left arm through the air, urging it toward the branch. I reached over the edge of the branch, with one leg on either side of it for stability. I snatched at her hand and helped her reach the branch.

"James, can you help us please?" I shouted.

 He was already on his way. He had whipped off the jacket and the fleece - giving way to a gold 'Lord of the Rings' t-shirt below - and was holding them in his arms like a basket. His eyes were focussed with a steely gaze on Lucìa's struggling figure.

"Lucía, it's a very small drop to me, about the length of your shin. What I need you to do is keep your legs forward, so that you land in my arms in a sitting position. Michael, could you give me a little support?" James's voice was calm and level, as if he'd trained for this.

 Michael zipped over to James and, with feet planted in a tennis 'ready' position, he pressed his hands into James's back and let James lean back into him. Lucía wiggled her hands into a firmer position, then dropped gratefully into James's arms. James stumbled backwards into Michael who, with the help of Tom and Isaac, kept James on his feet. James lowered Lucía into a standing position.

"M'lady," he grinned.

"Thank you, kind sir," Lucía returned.

 I smiled at them from my branch, with my feet locked in a ring around the branch so I could avoid a similar problem. Despite this precaution, I nearly fell from my branch when Benedict Cumberbatch's voice emanated from my phone. I'd forgotten that my text alert was a line from 'A Scandal in Belgravia', the first episode of Series Two of BBC Sherlock: Sherlock saying "It's a text alert. It means I've got a text."

"What was that?!" James exclaimed.

"What did it sound like?" I retorted. I gripped the edge of the branch and swung my head round the side to meet James's eyes. "I have a reply."

 I clambered around the branches to the other side of the trunk, where the ground was soft. The area that Lucía had almost fallen onto was webbed with the roots of the tree. On this side, the hill extended upwards so the roots were buried under the surface. As I dropped to the ground, the soft floor of pine needless compressed with me and bounced me into a sitting position. I shook my head to clear it and zipped in a circle around the tree.

"Who was it?" James asked once I reached him. His eyes had widened and his voice was urgent.

"I haven't actually checked yet," I admitted. I swiped my lock screen to the side and opened Facebook.

"So it could be anyone? Like, your network provider?" James chucked.

"Yes, I guess. Oh, maybe TalkTalk got kidnapped," I muttered, "A-hah! Here it is. It's from Jan!"

 Hi, Joanne, so glad to hear from you. We're not quite there yet but somebody keeps saying to tell all of you to meet at the top of the 3-D maze. See you soon :)

"So I take it 'somebody' means Paul?" James ventured.

"Yeah, probably," I mumbled, "I put it in the JMFC so he probably didn't want to let them tell everyone what was going on."

"So what should we do until it's time to go meet them?" Michael asked.

"I have an idea," came a deep, rumbling voice from the tunnel that led to the next section of the park. We craned our necks to peer into the murky depths of the tunnel and spotted a lone figure strolling towards us.

"Who's that?" Lucía asked, bewildered.

"It sounded like Smaug to me... " James mumbled, "Oh! Hi, Ben!"

 Benedict emerged lazily from the gloom with his hands in his pockets and a bemused grin on his face. His auburn hair curled in a smooth flick away from his forehead and his slightly gangly limbs moved with grace. He wore a thin grey hoodie and a blue body-warmer, with black walking trousers. As he neared us, he picked up his speed and jogged toward us.

"So what's your idea?" James asked when he reached us.

"Come on." Benedict gestured towards the tunnel. "I'll show you."

Part 10 - Cream 'o' Galloway

The clanging sounded through the canvas walls of the tent like a syren rising from the water, beckoning us to it's call. A few feet away I spotted the worm-like figure of Tom in his sleeping bag as he wriggled into a sitting position. I took a deep breath and followed suit. Tom smiled at me as I groaned with the effort and seemed to be stifling a giggle.
"What was that clanging?" I grumbled.
"It was your wake-up call!" called James's voice, which I would have recognised anywhere.
Tom dragged the zip of our compartment toward the tent floor and struggled out into the main living area.
"Morning, Tom," greeted Michael, whose voice sounded like it was curling around every syllable.
Tom yawned and beckoned with his left hand - which was still dragging behind in the sleeping compartment - for me to follow him. We staggered out of the tent and spotted James at a large metal camping table, pouring plate after plate of cereal. I selected a bowl of cornflakes and pulled up a folding chair beside Annisa and Hanien.
"So how did you two sleep last night?" I asked.
"Not bad," Hanien replied, "But I was in the compartment next to James and Michael and James kept sleep-talking about X-men."
"No way!" Annisa exclaimed, "What did he say?"
"He kept mumbling about how he wanted Cyclops to 'beam him up'."
"That sounds more like Star Tr- Ohhhh," I realised, "Cyclops is Scott Summers. It's Scotty that beams people up in Star Trek. He must have been having a great dream."
"Yeah, he sounded pretty happy," Hanien agreed.
James whirled around to lean on the other side of the table
"So, Cream 'o' Galloway, today," James announced.

"Yep," I agreed, "I've not been in ages."

"Do they still have that big barrack full of hay?" James asked hopefully.

"I think so. But I think I was too old for it last time I was there. Or too tall. I can't remember," I shook my head, "Oh! But have you been since they added that hatch chute?"

"No... ?"

"Oh, it's great. You'll love it," I smiled.

"Yahoo!" James cried as he sped away from us down the chute. He was couped up in a cylindrical container only slightly longer than himself and was now plummeting toward the go-kart track at the bottom of a small ravine. The tube that the cylinder hurtled down was almost vertical for most of the journey but levelled out sharply at the bottom. There was then a long, flat section that James was now rumbling to a halt on.

"Alright, who's next?" Fraser, the hatch chute controller, asked.

"I'll go!" Eliphia shouted excitedly.

Fraser hauled the next cylinder up and clicked open the hatch. Eliphia clambered up onto the step and hopped into the tube. Fraser smiled and gracefully set the hatch back into place.

"What's your name?" he called.

"Eliphia."

"Okay, Eliphia. Are you feeling scared?"

"Not really."

"Well, I'm going to count to three. One, two-"

Fraser calmly let go of the rope that had restrained Eliphia and she zipped towards the ground. Fraser winked at us - Hanien, Annisa, Isaac, Tom and I - and leaned against the frame of the bridge that led to the other side of the ravine.

"That guy I sent down before her," Fraser tilted his head to the side, "Was he James McAvoy?"

"Yeah," Annisa replied.

"And the guy before?" Fraser continued, "Michael Fassbender?"

"Yep," Tom confirmed.

"Cool," Fraser smiled, "Alright, who's up next."

"Me, I think," I mumbled and hopped up to the hatch.

 I sidled into the cylinder and snuggled into its depths, happy in the knowledge that the tube's last occupant had been James. It was slightly less thrilling than the last time I had been there, maybe because I'd grown about half a foot since my last visit. What really got my pulse racing, however, was the sight of James smiling down at me as he lifted the hatch of my cylinder.

"You coming up to the flying fox?" he grinned.

"Sure," I smiled.

 James gestured toward Eliphia, who had already started up the thin, bouncy wooden bridge. We jogged to catch up with her. What we hadn't noticed, however, was that Eliphia was wrapped in conversation with a woman in the middle of the bridge.

"James!" Eliphia called as we neared, "Come and meet someone!"

James crept forward hesitantly towards Eliphia and the woman.

"This is Pearl. She's in your fan club," Eliphia gestured towards the woman, who looked as if she was about to faint into a puddle of jelly, "Pearl, meet James McAvoy."

Pearl extended a hand, which James took warmly. His arm was tense but relaxed quickly. Clearly he still hadn't got used to people recognising him.

"Hi, Pearl," James smiled, "How are you?"

"Well now I'm having the best day of my life."

"Um, thanks," James stuttered, "I'm - uh - glad to be of service. Listen, um, we're heading up to the flying fox. Do you want to come with us?"

Pearl's eyes were bright and sparkling with glee. "Yes, please."

 James nodded and sprinted past her, waving with his hand for us to follow. We thundered up the bridge, our legs hell-bent on catching us up with James. It was odd to be chasing after him this way, since doing this in any other situation could probably qualify as stalking. His form began to slip away and I called out to him.

"Hey! Slow down!" I yelled.

James deccelerated gradually and looked for a moment as if he might stop completely. He then looked over his shoulder and grinned. He winked and whipped his head back around, kicking his heels back up to full speed.

"So long, suckers!"
We didn't catch James until the queue for the flying fox, where he was standing at the back talking to a young girl. James was leaning on the frame of a fence that guarded the edge of the ravine.

"Finally!" James grinned when we reached him, "This is Lucìa. She's in Benedict Cumberbatch and John Green's group. I didn't even know they were here!"

His mouth was smiling but his eyes were panicked. With a jolt, I remembered why it was that we were at Cream 'o' Galloway. It wasn't just a nostalgic day out for James and myself. This was the day for us to rescue Jan and Tara. With a second jolt, I realised whose group James had just said Lucìa was in.

"Wait, did you say John Green?!" I exclaimed.

Lucìa nodded.

"He and his brother are the leaders of my Major Fandom!"

"Cool," Lucìa smiled.

"Oh, I'm up," James realised, shuffling forward to the platform that led to the flying fox, now that the queue in front of us had run out.

The face of the woman who was strapping him into the harness was scarlet with blush as she reached around his back and tightened the straps of the harness. James seemed caught between finding this awkward and hilarious because he kept emitting this strange, giggle, cough sound. Soon, he was in the air and zipping over the mountain bike course. By the time he'd dismounted, our entire group had been reunited in the flying fox queue.

 I was next in line. I nipped up the steps and stared unashamedly at the back of James's head as he shouted to someone beyond the barrier of the flying fox area. He seemed to come to an agreement with someone, then jogged out of the area and leant on the outside of the barrier, looking back towards me. Even from this distance, his smile switched on an amplifier inside me and everything was suddenly better in every way. The dull grey sky was suddenly a pure, clear white and, as I hurtled towards him through the air, the sensation of flying had never felt so real. Once I was dismounted and had sent the harness back up to the platform, I darted out of the area and wrapped James into a tight hug. He felt shocked at first and I could feel that he was tense but then he softened and patted me on the back.

"Thank you," I whispered.

 James didn't ask what for. He held the hug for a few seconds longer then we disengaged and watched Pearl shoot towards us. I saw the smile on her face and glanced towards James. He must have known, mustn't he? He must've been aware of the fact that my hug was not just because I was happy, it was because he had made me happy. He must have known that Pearl was smiling because of him. He had to know that at least six people here thought he was one of the greatest human beings on the planet. And yet, I honestly don't think he did. If he did, he certainly handled it very well.

 James glanced towards me and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach do forward-flips. I thought I'd got used to him being around. I thought he was just another friend. He placed a caring hand on my shoulder and I knew then that while I still saw him this way, still thought of him as flawless and incredible and talented and inspiring, then we could never be on level pegging.

"Joanne?" James asked, and I got the feeling he'd been calling my name for a while.

"Huh?" I replied, snapping out of my daze.

"I said there's someone I'd like you to meet." James used his hand on my shoulder to swivel me around.

 John Green! He might not be of interest to you, but he was the man who made me proud to be a nerd. Without him, I wouldn't read or write as much as I do. I would be a totally different person without the Youtuber who was standing in front of me. He shaped my first year as a teenager, when I was just beginning my true exam courses at high school. And now, three years later, he's responsible for who I am now, about to sit my Higher exams.

 I slid my hands into the nerdfighter salute - hands crossed over like Wolverine except with Mr Spock 'live long and prosper' hand signs instead of adamantium claws. My head was bursting with happiness as he returned the gesture.

"What is that?" James exclaimed, his hands fumbling as they tried to arrange themselves into the shape of the salute.

"It's the sign that me, my brother and our fans do," John explained.

"Okay," James shrugged, as he finally got it. I had to exercise extreme willpower to stop myself from hugging him again. James was doing the nerdfighter sign!

"So are you all going to the next bit of the park?" John asked, pointing toward the tunnel that led to the start of the obstacle courses.

"Yeah," James nodded, "Oh, wait. Pearl, you don't go to the school so I don't know. Do you want to come with us?"

"Definitely!" Pearl exclaimed.

"Alright then," James slapped his thighs with his palms and began to walk towards the tunnel.

 I followed behind him. He had taken off his heavy waterproof jacket and tied it around his waist. I stared at the fibres of the pale blue fleece he wore underneath. To me, it shone with the enhanced azure of Leto's eyes in 'Children of Dune'.

Part 9 - The Barbecue

 "Got your allergy medication?" Benedict Cumberbatch asked James as we all poured out of the bus.

 "Yep," James replied, "No horse is going to stop me now!"

 "Don't stop me now... " Benedict sang, "Don't stop me -"

 "Cos I'm havin' a good time," James interjected, "Havin' a good time!"

 "I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky!" I added.

 "Like a tiger," Hanien continued.

 "Defying the laws of gravityyy," Annisa practically yodelled the last syllable.

 "I am a racing car," James began to wiggle his hips back and forth, "passing by!"

 "Like Lady Godiva!" Benedict shouted.

 "I'm gonna go, go, go," we all rumbled, "There's no stopping me!"

 We proceeded to hum to the end of the first chorus before filing into a long line against the wooden fenced elipse that ran down the centre of the flatter field. James and Benedict followed a couple of other adults into the office block at the beginning of the field. I could feel the wind cut my cheek with its chilling claw but I shrugged off the discomfort and smiled with every muscle in my face. Around me, I could see my happiness mirrored in all my friends' faces - Annisa, Hanien, Eliphia, Tom and Isaac - and I was almost certain we'd all burst from sheer joy.

 "It's going to be a great week." Eliphia had voiced what we were all thinking.

 "That it is," I agreed, "That it is."

 It's a good thing the site was so empty when we arrived because less than half an hour later, the field was cluttered with at least twenty tents that all bore our school emblem (a laptop that was a television on one side and a book made out of the other). The tents were roughly the same size and could hold eight people - two in each compartment. The idea was two teachers and six pupils in one tent. In my tent, the teachers were James and Michael Fassbender and the pupils were Annisa, Hanien, Eliphia, Isaac, Tom and I. In the tent next to us were Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Fletcher from McFly and some pupils from their classes.

 Divvying up rooms, we realised that Tom, James and I had had fairly similar experiences camping. We had similar habits of unpacking and I was interested to hear some of Tom's theories as to how to light a sleeping compartment to enable some reading before bed. Obviously - and regrettably - I couldn't share a sleeping compartment with James, so Tom and I took the one on the right closest to the front door if you were looking in from outside. To compensate for the out-of-balance girl to boy ratio, Annisa and Isaac volunteered to take the compartment beside Tom and I, leaving Hanien and Eliphia in the compartment next to James and Michael.

 As we unpacked, James, Michael, Tom and I taught those not from the UK some of our nation's great pub anthems. This of course meant 'Chelsea Dagger' by The Fratellis.

 "Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do do-do do-do!" James warbled.

 "Do-do-do, do-do-do, dae-do do de-do," Michael replied.

 "Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum de-dum de-dum," Tom continued.

 "Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum, de-dum dum de," I hummed.

 "Dum!" we all finished.

  "That's the whole song?" Annisa asked, incredulous.

 "Well, that's the chorus," James admitted, "But that's the general gist of it. Come on, then."

 And so we all do-do-doed to the end of our unpacking and I have to say, it really did make the process feel faster.  Once we were finished, we donned our fleece-lined waterproof jackets and emerged into the outdoors. I could barely see anything at first because the wind whipped my hair into my face and my hair is long ... I mean really, really long. Eliphia offered me a bobble to hold it back and mercifully my vision was restored just in time to see James do a Bugs Bunny impression.

 "What's for dinner?" Isaac asked eagerly.

 "Probably a barbecue," Michael shrugged.

 "But it's freezing out here!" Isaac had stopped walking and seemed shocked into paralysis by news of the night's dining.

 "Yeah," James nodded, " The fire from it's supposed to heat you up!"

 Isaac shuddered but started walking again.

 "Where are we going?" Hanien asked.

 "To get food to barbecue," James replied.

 "How?" Annisa asked, "We don't have any cars and I don't see any shops around anywhere."

 "We have bikes," Michael replied and began to barrel towards the bus.

 Underneath the bus was a deep compartment that spanned the entire area of the bus floor. James produced a key from his pocket, twisted it in a lock in the centre of the compartment door and flung the door open. Mounds of bikes lay haphazardly like an overgrown CD collection on the linoleum floor of the compartment.

 James and Michael hauled out eight bikes, all of varying sizes, placing them in front of us. Mine was the deep blue of Ravenclaw house from Harry Potter. I swung my leg over the crossbar and dragged the pedal up. Michael shoved the door back into place and James handed out helmets to everyone.

 "Ready?" James called over his shoulder as he mounted the bike.

 "Ready," we replied.

  We began slowly but were soon  thundering along the dust-strewn country path towards the main road. Once reached, the road swept us along its tarmac with minimal effort on our part and our attention could be focussed on staying out of the occasional car that trundled past us. The wind whooped around my ears and I could see the shirts off everyone in front of me flapping in the wind. James's black tracksuit jacket was practically a parachute it was so filled with air.

 When we reached the supermarket, we decided to split into pairs to shop for food. James went with Eliphia, Michael went with Annisa, Hanien went with Isaac and I went with Tom.

 "Nee-aow!" Tom screeched as he oversteered the trolley into the dairy aisle, "Vroom vroom-vroom vroom vroom-vroom vroom."

 "Yum, dairy," I smiled, "I love cheese!"

 "Hey, I have an awkward question," Tom murmured, studying the cheeses, "Do all four of you girls love James?"

 My brain stuttered to a halt and my stomach leapt a few inches into the air. I'd never really talked about anything 'James' related out loud. I honestly didn't have an answer ready at all. I mean, who asks someone if they're in life with someone nineteen years older than them with whom they're on a camping trip?

 "I um ... I don't know," I muttered, "I mean, he's incredible but, how am I supposed to know?"

 "They say a crush is live when it persists for four months."

 "It's been over ten but I don't know whether that means anything. Please don't tell him, though," I whispered.

 "Of course not." Tom nodded and picked a wedge of Edam from the shelf. "I wouldn't do that, I promise."

 Tom and I made a quick round of the supermarket, filling our trolley with all manner of cheese, pasta sauces and instant meal cheesy pasta. We reunited with everyone at the checkout and I had to hide behind Tom or risk James spot me blushing every time I looked his way. Eventually, we were all ready and soon atop our bikes riding back to the campsite for our barbecue.

Part 8 - I Spy

By the next Monday morning, the bags were packed, the bus was hired and the consent forms were signed. James had sent us all to bed early the night before and roused us at six-thirty am. I was lucky enough to hear him coming, which meant I avoided being awoken by the metal of his key pressed against my back, which was the fate awaiting about half of our class. Annisa's scream, in particular was probably what aroused me from sleep. I had no idea one human could make such a high-pitched sound.
James seemed to find our reactions hilarious and practically skipped along the corridor to the kitchen, laughing with glee. Hanien, Eliphia, Annisa and I trudged along with the rest of the class and poured into the living room, kitchen and bathroom. I was halfway through my cornflakes - the four of us were sat on a set of two two-seater couches that directly faced each other - when James approached and hopped onto the back of the couch opposite me. This was the one on which Eliphia and Hanien sat.

 "Excited?" he asked with a grin.

 "Yeah," Annisa replied, "But Joanne's been warning me about the weather."

 "I don't think it's too bad." James cocked his head to the side. "I mean, there are a couple of light showers a day and there's one day with a very heavy shower. Temperatures are around seven degrees, I think. But we'll do lots of exercise and go cycling and walking so I'm sure we'll be warm enough."

 "Wait, where are we cycling?" I asked.

 "Kirroughtree. You know, the one with the taster loop and the really smooth stane?" James seemed surprised that I knew what he was talking about.

 "Stane?" Hanien raised an eyebrow.

 "It's a forestry commission thing, I think," James explained. "There are seven stanes - stones, I mean - and the idea is to go all around Scotland cycling the different tracks and getting pictures with the different stanes."

 "The one at Glentress has Klingon engraved on it!" I exclaimed, remembering that James was a trekkie.

 "Oh yeah, on the way up to Betty Blue!" James nodded. "Betty Blue's one of the tracks. Blue means moderate difficulty and Betty, well, it could just have easily have been Billy Blue. Okay, I'm going to go check on some other people. Still sure about Cream o' Galloway?"

 We nodded that we were and relaxed into the couches.

 "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with ... T!" James declared. He was sat in front of us on the bus but kept twisting around to talk to us. We were on the left side of the bus, very near the front. I sat at the window seat directly behind whoever was next to James and Hanien was beside me, directly behind James. Behind me was Annisa and behind Hanien was Eliphia.
 "Tree!" Eliphia exclaimed.
 "Nope," James grinned, "I'm not that obvious!"
 "Tyres?" Hanien suggested.
 James shook his head and giggled.
 "Oh, wow!" came a shout from beside James.
 "I recognise that voice," Annisa murmured.
 "I just saw Peter Capaldi's 'Doctor Who' costume!" the voice continued.
 "Oh," I realised, "Essex accent. Whovian. Letter 'T'. Hi, Tom!"
 James nodded. "You got it!"
 "So... " Eliphia giggled, "The thing beginning with 'T' was Tom Fletcher ... Of McFly?"
 "Yep." James nodded.
 "What?" Tom whirled round to face us.
 "Oh we're playing 'I Spy'," I explained, "He's got a cool coat hasn't he?"
 "What - Oh Capaldi?" Tom replied, "Yeah, he's going to be a very 'cool' Doctor."
 "Ironic given that the last one taught kids that cool is not cool," James added.
 "Yes, well, I guess you need variety," Tom concluded, "So 'I Spy'? Okay, um, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with R.S."
 That stumped us. All five of us slumped into our chairs and tried not to look at the smug expression on Tom's face. After a while, we drifted slightly and began to ramble on about X-Men.
 "What's ironic," James chuckled, "Is that in the 'X-Men: Evolution' cartoons, Wolverine is Australian! And I could understand if they had an American actor and didn't make him do an Australian accent but they already had an Aussie actor! Why on Earth did he not keep his accent?!"
 "You almost always change your accent and that's because it's important to the plot of the story. Wolverine was supposed to seem really gloomy and to be honest when I watched the cartoons I always had trouble believing he was as temperamental as he was meant to be because he was always saying things like 'dingo'," I noted.
 "So you're saying that Hugh Jackman played Wolverine as American because Australians are too much fun?" Tom summarised.
 "Yep."
 Suddenly, the bus swerved and I spotted a small car dodging around haphazardly in across the lanes of the motorway and heard the bus driver cursing at it under his breath. The bus thundered onto the hard shoulder and juddered as the driver struggled to right it. Once we were back on course, Tom - that's kid Tom, not Tom from McFly - leaned over across the aisle towards me and tapped my arm.
 "Rumble strip," he mumbled.
 "Yep!" Tom - the one from McFly - shouted, "You've got it!"
 "Okay, I'll go next," Isaac, who was sat next to kid-Tom announced, "I spy with my little eye ... Did that sign say Wigtown?"
 "Oh!" James exclaimed, "So it did! We're here!"
 The bus trundled onto a gravelly farm path and soon led us onto a flat field of grass. The field was dotted with tents and a few fences. In its centre was a narrow ring of fences that enclosed a few skinny trees and at the boundary to our right was where a more immediate threat than crazy canonist extremists was waiting for James: three horses.

Part 7 - School Trip

 I think it was during a Maths lesson in our second week at the Internet School that James got the first call. He'd decided after that first day to try to get in contact with the police. I think it's safe to say, in fact, that we four all thought it was the police calling him. He'd been going through some differential equations and had seemed to be nodding off as he delivered his lesson. He's never as interested in Maths as he is in Drama or History, for example, but he normally still manages to entertain us with body language and facial expressions.
 "So, you, um, multiply the coefficient by... " he had yawned, " ... the power. Then take one off the power."
 He had blinked rapidly and tried to rouse himself. Then the jangling sound of his 'Don't Stop Me Now' ringtone had begun to emanate from his pocket and he'd excused himself from the room. We could hear him muttering something into the phone very quickly and very quietly and all four of us tensed visibly.
 "Is he okay?" Tom asked me.
 "I don't know," I replied distractedly, "I was up early this morning and he was just pacing around the living room yelling about cannons."
 "Cannons or canon?" Tom frowned.
 "I would have thought canon but he's become a little unpredictable recently and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was debating the failings of pre-Dreadnought war ships with himself," I murmured.
 James re-entered the room and ushered in one of the members of One Direction - we had music next - urging them to take the maths lesson. He signalled for the four of us to come with him. By now the class was used to this and we'd come up with the more comprehensive cover story that we were involved in a fanfiction project. I shrugged at Tom and followed Annisa, Eliphia and Hanien out of the class.
 This time James took us back to our common room and sat us down in the kitchen.
 "I did something stupid," he began, "I made a rash decision and I regret it now but it can't be undone. I got on Facebook, got accepted into my own fan group and sent Paul a private message. I told him I couldn't do as he asked but that I was not giving up. I ... arranged to meet him. That's who the call was from. He was confirming the time and place."
 "Where are you going to meet him?" Hanien asked.
 "Cream 'O' Galloway Park," James replied, "It's public enough that he can't harm me but spread out enough that we can talk without people overhearing us. Do you know it, Joanne?"
 "Yeah," I replied, "It's my favourite play-park all time! What do you need us for, then?"
 "Well, it's quite hard to get time off here but Benedict suggested we all take a school trip to go camping. I guess I just wanted to give you warning. I think the classes are going to dissolve and mix with one another so it should be easy for me to get away. I want to know if any of you would like to come with me. It could be potentially dangerous and I personally don't think it's a good idea but for Eliphia and Joanne especially, whose friends have been kidnapped, I thought I owed you all to at least ask. You've all been so helpful over the past few weeks, I had to at least give you the choice. And, I have to admit, I'm significantly frightened by the prospect of going alone." James held his head aloft to show he was not afraid of admitting his fear.
 I glanced at Eliphia, who had been a member of the James McAvoy Fan Club when I joined and had therefore known Jan and Tara for longer. Her hands were set in fists and she was rubbing her knuckles with her thumb. Annisa and Hanien seemed similarly determined. I took a deep breath and stood from my seat at the kitchen table. I found the others also now on their feet and joined them in circling round the side of the table to where James was now also in the process of standing. We stood in a semi-circle in front of him and wrapped him into a hug.
 "So that's a yes, then?" he croaked as he emerged from the huddle, seemingly willing back tears.
 "Absolutely," Eliphia whispered.
 Annisa, Hanien and I nodded our assent and James nodded back.
 "Okay," James raised his voice back to normal level, or even slightly above, "Any ideas for a campsite, Joanne? I reckon there would be some objections to wild camping from all the girls."
 "Hey, you'd object too if you couldn't pee standing up. Anyway, I know one near Dumfries. It's quite close to Wigtown. Oh... wait... "
 "What?" James raised an eyebrow.
 "There may be a slight problem," I murmured, "Just how allergic are you to horses?"

Part 6 - The Goofy-goobers ROCK

 Our music teachers - all nine of them - arrived a little early to the classroom. James was still in the midst of a geography lesson about the different types of rock that exist in the world. Well, the lesson had descended into somewhat of a singsong. Someone had suggested that one of the most prominent types of rock in Britain in the seventies was 'punk rock' and James had immediately responded by blurting out a few verses of the Ramones song, 'Sheena is a Punk Rocker'. This had led through Joan Jett's rendition of 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll' and Elvis Presley's 'Jailhouse Rock', all the way to 'Goofy-goobers Rock', which was sung at the climax moment of the Spongebob Squarepants movie.
 "I'm a goofy-goober, ROCK, you're a goofy-goober, ROCK, we're all goofy-goobers, ROCK, goofy-goofy-goofy-goober, ROCK!" James had his eyes lying shut and was head-banging as he sang.
 He noticed Tom Fletcher of McFly mouthing the words from the doorway and giggled.
 "Sorry about that. I'll, uh, just be getting going now." James chuckled.
 "No, no, not at all." Dougie Poynter shook his head. "Wrap up in your own time."
 James nodded and clapped his hands together then realised he had very little to say. He nodded again, shot the four of us - Hanien, Annisa, Eliphia and I - a pointed glance and trotted out of the room, nearly skipping.
 The members of the two groups shuffled in and lined up along the front wall of the room. They looked awkwardly between each other and eventually it was the curly-haired one from One Direction who began to speak. The one that went out with Taylor Swift ... Harry Styles! That's his name. He began to outline the music course that we'd be undertaking this year and I'll give him that he was very enthusiastic about it. In fact, I'd probably have been sufficiently interested if I hadn't been constantly comparing him to the musical delights of James singing songs from beloved children's movies.
 Since there were five tables and nine teachers, it was decided to split the teachers between tables. We were assigned Tom Fletcher and Liam Payne.
 "So, any questions?" Tom asked.
 "Do you like Chameleon Circuit?" I asked, "You know, the Trock band."
 "The what?" Liam spluttered.
 "Trock. Time Lord rock," Tom explained, "My sister is best friends with the man who invented it and I'm a massive Whovian so yes I am very excited by Trock."
 "Wait," Annisa murmured, "Is that Doctor Who music?"
 "Absolutely," put in Isaac. He and Tom, at the head of the table, could barely contain their laughter at Liam's bemused expression. "Actually, Annisa, Chameleon Circuit is that band that was on in the bus. Remember, the one me and Joanne started singing along to?"
 Annisa nodded and Liam still looked befuddled so we continued on to more traditional ground.
 "Do you know any of our stuff?" Tom asked, gesturing to himself and Liam.
 Tom and I both replied that we'd been big fans of McFly since childhood but weren't so well acquainted with One Direction. This seemed satisfactory to both of them and the teachers began to discuss what we were about to start work on.
 "Basically, we're making an album," Tom explained, "We need people taking on all the different roles. Liam and I will be producing. All the music is going to come from you. Okay, two people to sing and play rhythm guitar, someone to play lead guitar, someone to play drums, someone to play bass and sing backing vocals and someone to play keyboard and sing backing vocals."
 A few minutes of deliberating and we had our band.

 I was nervous suggesting myself to play lead guitar but I reckon keeping my voice out of the spotlight was a viable way of not seeming conceited. Plus, I had a year to improve the skills I'd been growing to fairly little extent over a year of guitar classes and I had Tom Fletcher to help me do it. To be honest, this really was helping take our minds off whatever James was planning.
 My mind, however, was sucked back to the subject of James when he appeared like a spectre in the hallway towards the end of the lesson. He cleared his throat and we excused ourselves from the class on the grounds that there were 'a few things left to take care of' in the matter of resolving our 'row'. Of course, James actually needed an update on if we'd managed to make contact with Jan or Tara yet but it seemed a good idea to stick to our cover story.
 He led us back to the same office room we'd been in earlier and we all took our places at the table. This time, James had carried in a chair which he placed at the edge of the table and sat himself down on. He tapped his foot on the ground for a few moments then agitatedly cleared his throat and set his hands face down on the table's surface.
 "So, Eliphia, Joanne, any contact with Jan or Tara?" James muttered.
 "Well... " I glanced at Eliphia as I started to update him, "...  we commented on something they posted in your fan club on the open day and we didn't get any reply but, an account called P. Z. Proseguard. We remembered that Paul's initials are P. Z. and Proseguard is a combination of the words 'prosetic' and 'guardians'."
 "What did he say?" James squeaked.
 Eliphia answered, "He said to message him. Which we did. On private messaging he told us that he was in fact Paul and he revealed to us what he wanted."
 "Why didn't he make his demands known before?" James wondered.
 "He wanted to communicate to you, James, directly. Of course by this point we'd explained that we were at the Internet School so he realised he could reach you through us," Eliphia explained, "What he wanted was for the school to immediately shut down. He said in exchange, Jan and Tara would be returned."
 "Or else?" James prompted.
 "Or else he would keep them locked up and they'd know for the rest of their lives that their idol, James McAvoy, had abandoned them," I finished.
 James crossed his arms on the table and lay his head in the diamond created. He made a groaning sound and we could actually see him quivering in frustration. We each lay a hand on his balled up fists which formed a sort of canal gate that let his hair flow through in tufts. We patted him in consolation and he raised himself up to full height in the chair.
 "We are not letting this school close. We are not letting him hurt Jan and Tara," James declared.
 "But what can we possibly do?" Annisa asked.
 "I don't know yet. I only know that those are two things we can definitely not do. What about Twitter, Annisa, Hanien?" James turned to each of them, both on either sides of the table. "Anything to report about Paul's companion?"
 "Nothing much," Annisa reported, "Just normal, mundane status updates. What we did find was the Prosetic Guardians main Twitter account. There are a couple of admins and one of them mentioned something about Mogul Ziemkoll."
 "Who's Mogul?" Eliphia asked.
 "It's a term for somebody important, the leader of something," Hanien explained, "We think Paul may be a Mogul in the Prosetic movement."
 "Okay... " James ruffled his hair. "What kind of accounts did you make? Did you make contact with anyone on Twitter?"
 "The accounts are kind of like Paul's on Facebook," Hanien explained, "I am H-Canon. Annisa is H-Guard. We didn't talk to anyone but we favourited a couple of that account's tweets and got followed by some of its followers."
 "Okay." James shuddered in a breath. "Well done, very well done. And thank you, all four of you."
 James gestured for us to stand up and gather around him. He wrapped his arms around all of us and his head sank into a massive group hug. As he ushered us out to go ahead of him to P.E., his voice was starting to crack and I could see his jaw set in an attempt to hold back tears. He did well and when he appeared in the P.E. hall ten minutes later in an X-Men t-shirt, he was as cheery and charming as ever, I even heard him slip out a few lines of the goofy-goobers rock as he surveyed our badminton games around the hall.

Part 5 - Our Mission

We were led to a quiet room with grey walls, four plastic chairs and a lone wooden table. On one wall, to our right when we entered, was a rectangular whiteboard which stretched from almost one side of the room to the other. It displayed a few notes in squiggly handwriting that I didn't even attempt to read.
"What is this place?" Hanien asked.
"This is where all the magic happens, somewhat literally," James explained, "What we need to do now is going to involve a much more electronic means. Joanne, Eliphia, get your phones out and get on Facebook. Hanien and Annisa we need you two to get on Twitter and create anonymous accounts. We're going to have these accounts follow the account of someone Paul was sighted talking to by a journalist. They won't tell us where that was yet but I reckon we can make a start at finding out."
 James gestured for us to sit down and we positioned ourselves around the table in the same way we had when we'd been in the classroom. James rolled up the sleeves of his pale turquoise shirt and ran his hands through his hair, which was fairly floppy from this gesture having been repeated many times. He leaned forward and placed his palms on the table, his fingers gripping the table's edges. He exhaled through closed lips which caused his entire mouth to vibrate.
 "Look, this is difficult for me. We've been told that Paul has affiliation with an extremist group known as the Prosetic Guardians. They're an extreme canonist group that strongly disagree with fanfiction and any over-analysis of literature. They believe that engagement and speculation is to sully a piece of someone's work, no matter the medium. They believe that it is not the place of the reader or audience to apply their own ideas to the work of somebody else. They want to abolish the study of literature in schools, ban sites that support fanfiction and break up book clubs. They want people to read books and discuss the ideas put forward by the writer only with the writer.
 "I don't agree with this. I never will. It goes against all the values of creativity, imagination and involvement that this school tries so hard to embody. But I just can't imagine Paul doing this. He was such a happy boy. He loved talking about all things Marvel. I just can't think what might have pushed him to this. To tell the truth, I'm worried it was me." James traced a semi-circle on the floor with the big toe on his right foot. "He wanted to talk to me about more than his social life that day. I don't know what but I've never told anyone that, not even Benedict and Michael. It sounded serious. He sounded really angry and desperate but I just kept promising I'd talk to him about it after the open day was over but he was just getting angrier and angrier and calling me an egoist, which, I guess, was totally accurate at the time. All he would say was that he had a big decision to make. I can only assume that the decision was whether or not to join the Guardians."
 James folded at the waist and his head sank down to the surface of the table.
 Eliphia patted his tense wrist. "We're on it, James."
 He drew in a breath and nodded. "Okay. I'll catch up with you all towards the end of Music because that's my free period and its lunch next. I need you to be discreet about this. If anyone asks where you were... I don't know... maybe you all had a fight and I was helping you resolve it?"
 "What could we be fighting over?" I wondered.
 "James," Hanien answered automatically.
 "What?" James faced her. "Did you want something?"
 "No." Hanien shook her head. "We could be fighting over you."
 James puffed his shoulders. "Huh. I've never had people fight over me. I could get used to this."
 I flicked his knuckle with my fingernail. "Focus... "
 "Yes, okay." James shook his head. "Okay, let's go to English. Oh, and nobody breathes a word about Paul Ziemkoll to Ian McEwan."

 Ian McEwan's English class was, to me at least, exhilarating. I could have listened to him all day as he talked about themes and symbolism and how to manipulate an audience into crying their eyes dry over the tragic death of a fictional character. I certainly trusted his advice on the subject, given that I'd never spoken to anyone who'd read or seen 'Atonement' that hadn't been screaming their throats raw at Briony by the end. In fact, on multiple occasions in his 2012 novel 'Sweet Tooth', I'd been so shocked that I'd actually gasped sharply like a surprised cartoon character. I did not, however, take all that many notes. I found myself at the end of his opening speech with my pen poised over an English jotter like I'd been frozen in an iceberg at the beginning of the lesson. My wrist had fallen limp and my eyes stung from forgetting to blink.
 "Any questions?" he asked cheerily.
 As it happened, I did have one. "When you were describing Briony's love of writing at the beginning of 'Atonement', did you ever worry you were very similar in some respects to her?"
 "Actually," he mused, "I think James McAvoy has a great theory on that one. Briony is the centre of her Universe and will never emerge from the little bubble she lives in. I can promise myself that this is not who I am, because I just asked you all if she had any questions and Briony would never have thought of doing that."
 A couple of people asked questions about historical accuracy and the casting of Benedict Cumberbatch as Paul Marshall, whose features were described as 'slightly out of place' or something like that. Eliphia, Hanien, Annisa and I found ourselves fidgeting and rhythmically tapping on the desk. I felt guilty, given that these English classes were most of the reason I'd applied to the Internet School in the first place. Still, James was relying on us to act normal so I took a deep breath and scribbled down what I could remember of what Ian had been saying.